Becoming a mother is an empowering journey that often brings newfound strength and sensuality. However, striking a balance between the roles of mother, lover, and working woman can be a challenging feat. How does motherhood relate to femininity? Anchoring yourself in feminine confidence is the key to a fulfilling life, where you can thrive in caring for your children, relish intellectual pursuits, and revel in the embrace of your partner.
The Reality of Early Motherhood (AND why femininity matters)
Giving birth to my first child was a spiritual and profoundly empowering experience that left me euphoric for days. Yet, as those initial blissful moments faded, it was time to face the reality. My partner returned to work during the pandemic, and I found myself holding my baby most of the time. Like many first-time moms, I discovered that the moment I put him down, he’d voice his displeasure. This led to a cycle of me prioritizing his needs over my own. Consequently, it left me unable to tend to even the most basic self-care routines.
The Turning Point: Prioritizing Self-Care
I vividly remember sitting on the couch, feeling both irritated and resentful, waiting for my partner’s lunch break so I could brush my teeth. It felt unfair, uncomfortable, and unsustainable. I realized that to be a happy and present mom, I needed to first care for myself.
Rediscovering Balance between Motherhood and Femininity
Once I shifted my routine to prioritize self-care, everything changed. I discovered a way to harmonize being a mother, a wife, and an individual. Finally, I realized that the linchpin to this newfound equilibrium was embracing my femininity.
Maybe you are wondering if you have also left your femininity in the back seat and what the signs are that indicate you need to give it attention. Here is a list of some common symptoms:
- In your speech or thoughts, there is a lot of “I must” and “I have to.”
- You don’t have any “me” time.
- You are not enthusiastic about making yourself feel beautiful.
- It is difficult for you to relax and enjoy what you are doing.
- You feel the need to stay in control (at work, in your household, in bed with your partner…).
- You sense an imbalance between giving and receiving in your relationships, feeling that you are giving more (time, care, attention…) than you are comfortable with.
- Asking for help and receiving help, compliments, or gifts is a challenge for you.
- You get impatient when talking to a girlfriend because she is so descriptive, focuses on little details, and takes forever to get to the point.”
If you are recognizing any of these signs, it might be helpful to check the points below where I am sharing a few practical ways to stay connected to your femininity:
1. Rebalancing Feminine and Masculine Energies
If the constant feelings of stress, rush, and exhaustion seem all too familiar, it can be a sign that you may be predominantly operating from your masculine energy. At first, this can wear you down. Then, it left you in a perpetual ‘survival’ or ‘autopilot’ mode. To regain balance, take a moment to reconnect with your body amidst the hustle and bustle. Find time in your busy day to slow down, for instance by allowing the sun to caress your face, savoring the taste of tea, or simply feeling the rhythm of your own heart.
2. Organize Your Schedule for Self-Care
Prioritizing time for yourself amidst your responsibilities is essential. Thoughtfully structuring your schedule allows for dedicated space to engage in activities that revive your sense of femininity. In addition, establishing a femininity routine is a nurturing self-care practice. For example, being devoted for ten minutes a day to grounding yourself can yield a profound impact on your self-image and connection to your femininity. A few self-care routine tips were shared by DelftMaMa’s Nicole Tirado.
Staying attuned to your feminine energy improves your connection with your partner, especially by fostering a deep and intimate bond. For a wealth of ideas and practices that help you reconnect with your feminine essence, explore my curated list of Femininity Hacks.
3. Create Healthy Boundaries: motherhood AND femininity
Being a mother doesn’t mean self-sacrifice should be a daily norm. Demonstrate to your children the importance of self-respect, desires, and establishing boundaries. This sets a powerful example of a woman who values herself. By doing so, you exemplify a woman who values herself, and this reverberates into how the world will perceive and treat you.
4. Foster a Strong Social Circle
Grandparents, friends, and neighbors offer invaluable support. Embrace your community when needed; after all, it takes a village to raise a child. Therefore, asking for and graciously receiving help are hallmarks of feminine strength.
Nurturing your feminine energy is especially important, and connecting with other women can be a powerful way to do so. Joining a mothers’ group, whether in person or online, provides a platform to share experiences, seek advice, and forge meaningful connections with fellow moms. This sense of camaraderie can serve as a vital lifeline in the journey of motherhood.
In conclusion, embracing your femininity throughout the transformative journey of motherhood is essential for a balanced and fulfilling life. By nurturing yourself, you become a beacon of strength and love for your children, partner, and, most importantly, yourself. Remember, your femininity is not a luxury—it’s a source of power and resilience that fuels your journey through motherhood and beyond.
I am a femininity coach and a relationship after kids expert, a wife, a mother of two, and a woman who constantly seeks balance. You can follow me on Instagram for a daily dose of “femininity for moms” or check my website if you want more of me.