1. You know you are a mum with double standards when… You tell your kid that he should not eat candy whilst you sneakily unwrap a chocolate bar, fly it into your mouth and wolf it down with not even moving your jaw.
2. You know you are a pram pusher when, when you walk with no pram to push, you still go leaning forward and with your arms semi-flexed and rock a shopping trolley back and forth.
3. You know you are usually cycling with your kid when… you go singing, whistling and pointing at yellow cranes even when he is not around.
4. You know you are a mum when you can happily talk to someone on an elevator with a toy in your mouth, a stack of random objects in one hand, whilst with the other you are trying to find the key of the bike and think it is completely normal.
5. You know you are a mother when you hear yourself saying the same things your own one repeated to you a million times a few decades ago. Somehow, she was never right, but these days you are, certainly you are, hell you are. No discussion: YOU ARE.
6. You know you are a mother when you can proudly have a stain on your coat and think: “oh, how sweet. I miss my munchkin”.
7. You know you are a mother when you buy deep fried fish at the market and are happy eating the batter and feeding the fish to your kid.
8. You know you are a tired mother when you sing your kid to sleep and you fall asleep to your own lullaby
9. You know being a mother is the most rewarding 24/7 unpaid job when, when putting your kid to sleep, he massages your face, you fall asleep and he sneaks out to the living room to have some time for himself (true story).
10. You know you are the best mother your kid could have aimed at when he comes towards you with a broad smile to cuddle you after school.
11. You know you are a mother when there’s a lump of mashed up rice stuck on your sock even though you swiped in three meter radius around the dinner table.
12. You know you are a mother when you forbid yourself from having a thought of reloading the dishwasher while the baby naps, because even the imaginary cutlery noises will be enough to them up.
13. You know you are a mother when you go buy a pair of new jeans for yourself and come home with them + four new pairs for your kids. They were so darn cute!
14. You know you are a mother when you often catch yourself staring at your child thinking how on earth did you ever manage to create something so beautiful.
15. You know you are a mother when you wake up in the middle of the night literally ten seconds before someone starts crying.
16. You know you are a mother when your lap is never empty. If there isn’t a kid there, there sure will be a pile of things your kid is hauling to you. (Moms make not only perfect chairs, but perfect shelves and tables too!)
17. You know you are a mother when you can whip out a toy from your purse at any given time.
18. You know you are a mother when you leave to the post office and you remember to bring the children, their rain gear, the towel to dry the bike seat, your purse, a snack for bribing, a bag of garbage to bring on the way, but forget the package you were suppose to go mail.
19. You know you are a mother when even strangers have advice for you no matter the subject.
20. You know you are a mother when you feel, no matter where or when, that your heart will forever be outside of your body.